Announcer: In the last episode of Soap, the judge in the divorce case decided to rule in favor of Annie. Annie, in turn, decided to leave Dunn's River and go on a world tour. Danny wasn't too thrilled with Annie's decision. Jessica decided to let Chester live in the Tate house until he can find a job. Corinne and Eunice, who had decided to find Dutch, found out that he's somewhere in Texas, and they decided to continue their search. Jodie and Maggie decided to go out together, but Jodie's family undecidedly interrupted them. Saunders decided to kill Benson, and made the door explode in Benson's face. Benson then decided to hide in the Tate house and never come out again.
Confused? You won't be if you decide to stay tuned for this episode of SOAP.
This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell. These are the Tates, and these are the Campbells. And this is SOAP.
Scene 1: Campbell living room. Danny sits on the couch, and Burt comes out with a cup and a plate.
Burt: Here you go, Danny.
Danny: No thanks, Burt.
Burt: Danny, you've got to eat.
Danny: Eat? Eat?? I can't eat....My life has been destroyed, and you want me to eat.
Burt: Gee, Danny, I'm sorry that Annie left you, but you can't spend the rest of your life cooped up in this house.
Danny: She used me, Burt. She just used me to get Chester's money. Then she left me with nothing. No love, no home, and most importantly, no money.
Burt: Come on, Danny, what do you mean "no home"? Your home is right here.
Danny: I appreciate that Burt, but even I do stay here, I need to work. I need to get a life.
Burt: Danny, you can do that anytime. All you have to do is be positive about life.
Burt: Excuse me.
Burt opens the door. It's Chester.
Chester: Hello, Burt.
Chester: Is Danny here?
Burt: Yes, he is.
Chester: Can I talk to him?
Burt: Yeah, sure.
Chester walks into the living room and Burt closes the door.
Burt: Hey, Danny, look who's here. It's Chester.
Chester: Hello, Danny. How are you?
Danny: Fine. Just fine...HOW DO YOU THINK I'M DOING??
Burt: Danny, please don't yell.
Danny: You're right, Burt. I'm sorry, Chester.
Chester: Oh, that's all right.
There's a moment of silence.
Burt: Uh...I'll go make some coffee.
Burt leaves the room.
Chester: How are you really doing?
Chester: I'm sorry.
Danny: You are?
Chester: Of course I am. I'm your father.
Danny: Oh yeah, I forgot. I think when you tried to kill me it made me not believe that you're my father.
Chester: That was a mistake. A big mistake, and I'm sorry about it. I guess I haven't been the best father all these years.
Danny: Talk about understatements.
Chester: But I want to change that now. I want us to become closer.
Chester: Sure. We can go fishing, hunting...of course, that might be a problem, since I've never done any of those things.
Danny: You really want to do that?
Danny: Wow! This could be the zenon of our relationship!!!
Chester: That's zenith, Danny.
Chester: So, you're willing to do it?
Danny: I'm willing to give it a chance.
Chester: Great. I guess I'll get out my fishing rod....wait a minute, I don't have a fishing rod...Heck, I'll go buy one!! I have a son!!!
Chester and Danny hug. Chester leaves the house. Burt comes out of the kitchen.
Burt: Wow, was that really Chester?
Danny: I just had a great idea!!
Danny: You can come fishing with Chester and me.
Burt: Really? Sure. I'd love to.
Danny: Can I borrow your fishing rod? Mine's broken.
Burt holds his head but then smiles.
Scene 2: Dunn's River college. Billy sits in a classroom. He motions to his classmate.
Billy: Tell me what happened to Mrs. Rogers again?
Classmate: Well, from what I heard, she accidentally, brutally cut herself while brushing her teeth.
Billy: How can you cut yourself brushing your teeth?
Classmate: You can when you use a chainsaw.
Billy: Well, we knew her mind wasn't in the right place.
Classmate: Ain't that the truth.
Billy: So who's our new teacher?
Classmate: No one knows.
The door opens and a woman walks in.
Woman: Hello everyone, I'm your new teacher.
Billy: Wow, she looks familiar.
Classmate: Whoever she is, she looks good...even for an old woman.
Billy: That's true. Mrs. Rogers looked like a duck.
Classmate: I didn't know ducks had beards!
Teacher: Everyone...as I said, I'm the new teacher, after Mrs. Rogers' rather....unfortunate accident. My name is Leslie Walker.
Billy: Oh god...
Leslie stops talking, and spots Billy.
Billy: Leslie? Is that you?
Billy: Oh god...
Leslie: OK, everyone, class dismissed.
Everyone: What a cool teacher!!
Everyone gets up and leaves. Billy gets up to leave too, but Leslie stops him.
Leslie: Billy, please don't go.
Leslie: So we can catch up.
Billy: Oh ok...Leslie, it's been an interesting 19 years, and I've been very busy...See ya.
Leslie: Billy, wait...
Leslie: Why are you so nervous?
Billy: Nervous? Me? I'm not nervous at all.
Billy walks backward and bumps into a desk.
Leslie: Billy, you're tense. I can tell. Please tell me why.
Billy: I'm sorry, Leslie. It's just that the last time I saw you, you tried to kill me. So, can you blame me for being nervous?
Leslie: I guess not....but I'm not going to kill you this time.
Billy: You're not?
Billy: Thank god.
Leslie: In fact, it's strange that we're meeting here....I've been thinking a lot about you over the years.
Leslie: Yeah. I wanted to tell you that I'd changed, but I knew you probably wouldn't want to see me.
Billy: Leslie, you didn't have to think that.
Leslie: You mean, you would've wanted to see me?
Billy thinks for a moment.
Billy: No, probably not.
Leslie: How about we go for a drink, for old times' sake?
Billy: I don't think that's a very good idea. I have a lot of work to do.
Leslie: Please....I really need a man...I haven't been with anyone for 19 years...I know a lot of tricks and I'm dying to show them to someone...
Billy: On the other hand, they say working too hard is bad for you.
Leslie smiles and she and Billy leave the classroom.
Scene 3: Japanese restaurant. Jodie and Maggie are sitting at a table, near the chef.
Maggie: So, what do you say?
Jodie: I don't know, Maggie. Marriage is a big step.
Maggie: Jodie, come on. We've been spending a lot of time together, we obviously enjoy each other's company. Why not get married?
Jodie: Maggie, give me a break! I was an old Jewish man for 19 years!
The chef stops cooking and looks at Jodie in surprise. Jodie looks at him and he continues to cook.
Maggie: So what if you were an old Jewish man?
Jodie: So, I want to enjoy life.
Maggie: Isn't life enjoyable with me?
Jodie: I didn't say that. I just meant that I didn't want to get tied down at the moment...plus there's another problem.
Maggie: What's that?
Jodie: I'm not sure what I am. I could still be gay.
The chef stops cooking again and looks at Jodie in surprise.
Maggie: You're not gay. Obviously you're not gay. You're with a woman.
Jodie: That's not obvious to me. What if we got married and I left for another man like your husband did?
The chef opens his mouth wide.
Jodie (to the chef): What about our meals?
Chef returns to cooking.
Maggie: Well, maybe you're right.
Jodie: I hope I didn't disappoint you.
Maggie: Not really...here's a suggestion...we just move in together.
Jodie: Move in together?
Maggie: Sure. We can live together for a while, and see where our relationship goes.
Jodie: Gee, Maggie, I don't know.
Maggie: Don't worry, Jodie. We don't have to have any sex if that's what you're worried about.
Maggie (to Chef): Do you mind?
Chef returns to cooking.
Maggie: So what do you say?
Jodie: I don't know. On the one hand, it'll give us a chance to explore our relationship, but on the other hand, I don't feel I should leave my family....especially Wendy. She just came back and she's been through a lot...So I think we ought to put off moving in together or getting married for just a little while longer.
Maggie: You're right...but I have another idea.
Maggie: How about we finish here and go back to my place? I'm in the mood for some fun...
The chef drops his knife.
Jodie and Maggie look at the chef, surprised
Chef: Excuse me, I must go to the bathroom.
Chef leaves. Jodie and Maggie laugh and leave the restaurant.
Scene 4: Tate dining room. Jessica and Chester are sitting at the table.
Jessica: Wow, it's so empty here.
Chester: I know, Jess.
Jessica: Everyone's left. Dutch and Corinne and Eunice have all disappeared, Billy's out, Annie left for a world tour, and Daddy's gone. It's sad.
Chester: That's life, Jess. Eventually the kids grow and leave the house.
Benson comes out of the kitchen.
Chester: Benson, you cooked dinner?
Benson: Tonight, yes. I just HAD to cook dinner when I found out only the two of you will be here....I've been waiting for everyone to get out of here for a long time.
Jessica: Benson, don't you miss everyone?
Benson: Hell, no. Are you kidding? Finally, some peace and quiet.
Benson places 2 plates in front of Chester and Jessica.
Chester: What's that?
Benson: What's what?
Chester: This thing on my plate.
Chester: Benson, I hate fish!!
Benson (smiling): I know.
Benson turns to leave.
Chester: What am I supposed to eat?
Benson: The food on your plate.
Benson leaves the dining room, as everyone claps.
Jessica: Come on, Chester, you can eat fish once in your life.
Chester: I suppose.
Chester takes a bite out of the fish and makes a face.
Chester: Jess, this is awful....I have an idea.
Chester: Why don't we go out to dinner?
Jessica: Gee, I don't know...
Chester: Come on, Jess, for old times' sake...remember that Chinese restaurant we used to go to?
Jessica: Oh yeah...but we weren't banned from there?
Jessica: Yes, we were, because of the time you threw an eggroll at the waiter.
Chester: Oh yeah....but I'm sure we can go back there now...so what do you say, Jess?
Jessica: Well, I suppose once wouldn't hurt. Let's go.
Jessica leaves the dining room.
Chester leaves the dining room.
Scene shifts to the living room. Jessica and Chester are seen leaving the house. Benson comes downstairs.
Benson: Finally!!! They're all gone!! Yes!!...Wait a minute, I'm all alone here. What will I do here all alone?
Doorbell rings. Benson opens it. It's Saunders.
Benson: Oh, it's you. What the hell do you want?
Saunders: Oh, Benson, just wanted to apologize for trying to kill you.
Benson: Oh, no biggie.
Saunders: And just to show you how sorry I really am, I brought you this.
Saunders takes out a cake.
Benson: Ooohhh....Is that what I think it is?
Saunders: Double chocolate fudge.
Benson: I love chocolate.
Benson goes into the kitchen and brings out a fork and a knife.
Benson: I can't wait to eat this.
Benson: Do you want any?
Saunders: No, thanks, I don't eat that cheap stuff.
Benson starts to eat, but stops.
Benson: Wait a minute....this is poisoned, isn't it?
Saunders: Are you kidding? I wouldn't do that!
Benson: Then why aren't you eating any?
Saunders: Because I'm on a diet.
Benson: It's about time...but I don't believe you....You've poisoned the cake, haven't you?
Benson: Aha! I knew it!
Saunders: Damn! He caught me! How did you figure it out?
Benson: When you told me you did, I put 2 and 2 together and figured it out.
Saunders grabs the cake and runs out of the house, crying.
Scene 5: Inn, somewhere in Texas. Eunice and Corinne walk in.
Eunice: I can't believe how much time we spent at the mall.
Corinne: It wasn't my fault. You were the one that went into every store and tried on every single item.
Eunice: Just trying to look my best. I know you have trouble understanding that.
Corinne: Shut up, Eunice.
Corinne walks up to the front desk.
Concierge: Hi...how can I help ya?
Corinne: We need a room for two.
Eunice: Hold it, hold it...Corinne, I'm not sleeping in the same room with you.
Corinne: Why not?
Eunice: Because your snoring will keep me up all night.
Corinne: Hey...I do NOT snore.
Eunice: Really, Corinne? I've heard you at home. It's like sleeping next to a lawnmower.
Corinne: Well, at least I don't talk in my sleep.
Eunice: Excuse me?? I don't talk in my sleep.
Corinne: Yes, you do. When we were little girls and we used to go on vacation you'd keep me up all night with your talking.
Eunice: Oh yeah?
Corinne and Eunice start shouting at each other.
Eunice and Corinne: What???
Concierge: I'm sorry to tell you this, but I only have one room left.
Concierge: One room, take it or leave it.
Corinne: We'll take it.
Concierge: Good...I'd watch out if I were the two of you.
Concierge: Well, there have been a few murders in this town.
Concierge: Yeah. 2 women, around your age, were murdered. They have no idea who did it.
Corinne: Thanks for the tip. Don't worry about us. I have a black belt in Karate.
Concierge: OK. Your room will be ready in a few minutes, so you can wait in the lobby in the meantime.
Eunice and Corinne start walking away.
Eunice: Corinne, you never took Karate lessons.
Corinne: Shhh!! Be quiet, Eunice.
There's a TV in the lobby. Eunice and Corinne watch it. There's a newscast going on.
News Anchor: Still no word on the brutal murders of 2 women in the area. However, police do have a suspect, who was seen in the areas of the 2 murders shortly after they occurred. We go to our reporter Rick Lehrer.
Rick: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As we mentioned, police have a suspect in the 2 murders. He's described as a male, not too tall, with short, grayish-black hair. His full name is not known, however he goes by the nickname of Dutch. He was last seen in this area...
Eunice: Oh my god, Corinne.
Freeze frame on Dutch's picture as shown on the TV screen.
Announcer: Will Danny ever get over Annie? Will he and Chester go fishing, bowling, and other father-son activities? Now that Jessica and Chester have gone to dinner together, what else will happen between them? Will Jodie and Maggie stay together? Will there always be an obstacle in their way? What will happen between Leslie and Billy? Will it be normal this time? And what happened to Dutch? Is he really a murderer? And if he is, will it affect his relationships with Corinne and Eunice? These questions and many others will be answered on the next episode of:
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