Confused? You won't be after this episode of SOAP.

Eunice: I can't believe it.

Corinne: What are you doing here?

<We get to see the boss's face. It's Ingrid Svenson.>

Ingrid: Finally. After all this time, I get to see you, Corinne.

Corinne: What do you want from us?

Ingrid: I don't vant anything. I just vant to see you again. Oh, my Corinne. Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.

Eunice: What are you going to do to us?

Ingrid: Oh, shut up, you dirty, stinking Tate. Involving my Corinne in trying to save that silly husband of yours.

Corinne: She didn't involve me in anything.

Eunice: Yeah, you tell her, Corinne.

Ingrid: Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.

Eunice: Oh, shut up already.

Corinne: Look, just let us go. You just tell everyone that Dutch is innocent, he'll be out of jail, we'll all go back to Connecticut and no one will know.

Ingrid: Ha! I'm sorry, my darling Corinne, but I cannot do that. This is yust the beginning of my revenge on this entire stupid family.

Eunice: What are you going to do?

Ingrid: I'm going to make sure that your husband gets the chair for this. Then this lousy family will really suffer.

Eunice: You can't do that. Please, Corinne, tell her that she can't do that.

Ingrid: Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.

Corinne: Please....We both love Dutch. You can't do this to him.

Ingrid: I can do vhatever I vant. Besides, I never do anything on my own. You think that I vent and killed those vomen all on my own? Oh no. I'd never do that.

Eunice: Then who did?

Alex: I did....It was so easy. And planting the evidence against Dutch was so easy.

Corinne: You??

Ingrid: That's right.

Corinne: You've gotta confess. You can't do this to Dutch.

Alex: Sorry. That's the way it has to be.

Ingrid: Yes, it is. Now, the two of you know too much already. Ve vill have to shut the two of you up.

Eunice: Oh god, please don't kill us...Please!!

Ingrid: Ha! You think I vould kill my own daughter? No, no, no. Alex, take them to the dungeon.

Eunice: The dungeon?

Ingrid: Oh you'll love it. It's absolutely vonderful. I just redecorated it. Put up some nice vallpaper from Bloomingdale's. I like Bloomingdale's. I alvays missed it when I vas in Ecvador.

Alex: Let's move it, ladies.

Corinne: But...

Alex: Move it!

<Alex marches Corinne and Eunice into the dungeon. After they leave, Ingrid sits down at her desk and smiles.>

Ingrid: Oh I yust love this. Soon that entire family vill be destroyed and then Corinne and I vill finally be together forever.

Jessica: What happened to the lights?

Burt: Must be a late Y2K.

Jessica: Oh come on, Burt, that thing doesn't exist.

Burt: Then what happened to the lights?

Jessica: I have no clue. Is everyone ok?

Everyone: Yeah.

<The front door opens and Chester and Danny walk in with flashlights.>

Chester: Oh, Jess, I'm really sorry.

Jessica: What the heck happened?

Danny: Well, Chester and I were going to play one of his records.

Chester: Yeah, and then I plugged in the old record player, and then BOOM! It exploded. I guess a blew a fuse or something, and that's why the lights went out.

Jessica: That's the second thing you blew up tonight, Chester.

Mallu: That's because he's an incompetent fool.

Chester: Shut up, Mallu. At least I have a full head of hair...well, almost.

Mallu: Yeah, now you do. Wait a few years, it'll all be gone.

Chester: That's it!

<Chester attacks Mallu.>

Jessica: Chester! E. Ronald! Stop it this instance!

<Danny and Burt stop Chester and Mallu.>

Jessica: Now, both of you stop it right now...We need to fix the blown fuse...Benson!!

<There's no answer.>

Jessica: Benson? Benson? Oh my god, where's Benson?

Benson: Here I am...Sorry, I was busy.

Burt: Doing what?

Benson: Well, I was trying to put these flowers in this vase, but something is in there.

<Benson turns the vase upside down and a gun falls out. Everyone screams.>

Benson: Everyone calm down!

<Benson bends down to pick up the gun.>

Benson: Everyone stand back! If there are bullets in here, they'll hit the wall.

Maggie: Are you sure you can handle this?

Benson: Sure. I've handled many guns before. Stand back!

<Everyone stands back. Benson picks up the gun, and opens it up.>

Benson: It's ok. There are no bullets in here.

<Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.>

Benson: Now, let's go fix the fuse.

Burt: I'll help you. I'm good with electricity.

Benson: Oh good.

<Benson and Burt leave. Within a few seconds the lights come back on.>

Jessica: Yay! Benson and Burt saved the day!

<Just then, Billy comes up from the basement with a gun in his hand.>

Billy: Someone call an ambulance! Leslie's been shot!!

Jessica: Oh my god, Billy, how did this happen?

Billy: Well, Leslie and I went down to the basement when suddenly she pulled this gun on me. She was going to kill me!

Chester: Oh my god! Are you ok, son?

Billy: I'm fine. But I struggled with Leslie to stop her from shooting me, and then the gun went off and hit her...

<Jessica hugs Billy.>

Jessica: There there now, it's all over.

Wendy: You know, I did hear a gunshot just as the lights went out.

Billy: Yeah, that was me. Oh god, Leslie's down there.

Mike: I'll go down there. I took a first aid course in college.

Wendy: Be careful. She's obviously unstable.

Mike: I'll be fine. But I'll need someone to help me.

Bob: I'll go. I was at Johns Hopkins for a year.

Mike: You're a dummy!

Bob: I bet I know more than you.

Mike: Hey...

Jodie: Stop it! I'll go with you, Mike.

Mike: OK, let's go.

<Mike and Jodie go down to the basement.>

Billy: Ma....What if Leslie dies? I killed her.

Jessica: No you didn't, honey. It was self defence.

Billy: Why would she try to kill me? I just don't get it.

Jessica: Shhh....she was obviously mentally unstable. Everything will be ok.

<The doorbell rings. Jessica looks at Benson.>

Benson: You want me to get that?

Jessica: If you don't mind.

Benson: Not like I have anything better to do.

<Benson opens the door. It's the paramedics.>

Paramedic: OK, where's the patient?

Benson: What patient are you looking for? There are several here.

Paramedic: The one who got shot.

Benson: Oh, that one. In the basement.

<The Paramedics go down to the basement.>

Burt: Hey, has anyone seen Scotty?

Jessica: Not me.

Wendy: He disappeared a while ago.

Burt: Oh god, not again. I'd better go find him.

<Burt leaves the livingroom.>

Scotty: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carol: Please, stop it.

Scotty: Sorry. I'm really sorry...who are you?

Carol: You don't know who I am?

Scotty: No clue.

Carol: Then why did you scream?

Scotty: I don't know. It just seemed the logical thing to do.

Carol: I'm Carol David.

Scotty: Nice to meet you. I'm Scotty Campbell.

Carol: No, no, you don't understand. I'm the Carol David.

Scotty: Oh...

Carol: Now do you understand?

Scotty: Absolutely not.

Carol: I'm Wendy's mother.

Scotty: Really?

Carol: Yes.

Scotty: Wow, Wendy never told me she had a mother.

Carol: Well, how do you think she was born? Did you think she was brought by the stork?

Scotty: I never really thought of it....But I'm sure that Wendy will be thrilled to know that you're here. Why don't we go tell her?

Carol: No, you can't. You can't tell anybody that I'm here.

Scotty: Why?

Carol: Because Jodie will try to stop me from seeing my daughter. Listen, I'll be by in a few days to see Wendy. But I'll need your help.

Scotty: What can I do?

Carol: Well, just tell me when Jodie moves in with Maggie.

Scotty: How did you know about that?

Carol: I have my sources. Now, here's my phone number. You call me when Jodie leaves your house.

Scotty: Gee, I don't know...Jodie IS my half brother, I have a lot of respect for him.

Carol: Did you like it when I kissed you tonight?

Scotty: Yes, I did.

Carol: Well, I can show you a lot more if you help me. They say older women and younger men go together well...What do you say?

Scotty: I'll call you the minute Jodie leaves.

<Carol smiles.>

Carol: I knew I could count on you.

<Just then, Burt's voice is heard.>

Burt: Scotty? Are you out here?

Carol: Uh oh, I've gotta go. Remember to call me.

Scotty: But, Carol...

<Carol runs off.>

Burt: Scotty?

Scotty: Yeah, dad, I'm here.

<Burt comes up to Scotty.>

Burt: I was so worried about you.

Scotty: You didn't have to. I was out here the whole time.

Burt: What were you doing out here?

Scotty: Just getting some fresh air.

Burt: Oh...well, let's go inside.

Scotty: Oh, alright.

<Burt starts walking into the house. Scotty puts the paper with Carol's phone number in his pocket and follows. Fade to black on the shot of Carol's mask on the ground.>

Jessica: Oh, Scotty, thank god. We were so worried.

Scotty: I was just outside taking a breath of fresh air.

<Scotty looks around.>

Scotty: Why is everyone so glum? You guys look like someone's been shot or something.

Jessica: That's what happened. Leslie was shot.

Scotty: Really? How did that happen?

Jessica: Billy did it.

Scotty: Billy shot Leslie??

Jessica: Yes.

Scotty (to Burt): Is this some sort of family custom? Do we always shoot our girlfriends?

Burt: No, no, it's a long story.

Scotty: Everything with this family seems to be.

Burt: Well, that's true. Anyway, Jess, we all need to get going. But we'll be back next week for election night.

Chester: Oh, perfect. Just what we need.

Burt: Ha ha. Good one, Chester.

<Burt slaps Chester on the back, and he almost falls down.>

Mike: Thanks for having me tonight.

Jessica: It was a pleasure. Come back soon.

Mike: I will. Thanks.

<The Campbells leave the house. Only Jessica, Chester, and Mallu remain in the living room.>

Jessica: Well, this was one great party, wasn't it?

Mallu: It sure was.

Chester: Yes, I suppose. Except for Leslie's shooting, everything went great....well, that and the fact that I blew things up.

Mallu: Doesn't surprise me.

Chester: Put a sock in it, Mallu.

Mallu: Oh shut up, Tate.

Chester: The party's over. Why don't you just get out of here? You don't live here.

Mallu: Neither do you.

Chester: Oh yeah....Well, we'll both leave then.

Mallu: Not a chance in hell.

Jessica: Boys, boys, please stop it. Now, sit down. I need to talk to you both.

<Mallu and Chester sit down. Jessica is about to open her mouth and speak, but the doorbell rings.>

Jessica: Benson....

Chester: Benson left, Jess. Remember? He went to the hospital with Billy.

Jessica: Oh, that means I have to get the door then.

<Jessica opens the door. It's Saunders.>

Jessica: Hello, Saunders.

Saunders: Happy New Year, Mrs. Tate. Is Benson home?

Jessica: Oh no, Saunders. Benson is in the hospital.

<A smile spreads across Saunders' face.>

Saunders: What happened?

Jessica: Oh, there was a shooting here tonight.

<Saunders' smile widens.>

Saunders: Is Benson dead?

Jessica: Benson? No, he's not.

Saunders: Is he fatally wounded?

Jessica: No. Benson wasn't shot. Leslie was shot.

Saunders: What?? How?

Jessica: Billy shot her when she tried to kill him.

Saunders: What about the gun in the vase?

Jessica: Oh, is that yours?

Saunders: Yes, it is.

<Jessica picks up the gun and gives it Saunders.>

Jessica: You must've left this gun when you moved out of here.

Saunders: Well, didn't it go off tonight?

Jessica: Oh no, there were no bullets in it.

Saunders: Oh no!!!

<Saunders takes the gun and leaves.>

Jessica: Have a happy new year, Saunders!

<Jessica closes the door and returns to Chester and Mallu.>

Chester: Alright, Jess, what did you want to talk to us about?

Jessica: Well, I just wanted to let you both know, that I'm sorry for playing with your feelings. I've been having so much fun that I've forgotten that you two are getting hurt in the process.

Chester: What are you saying, Jess?

Jessica: Remember when I died 20 years ago?

Mallu: Of course. Was the saddest day of my life.

Chester: Oh, and it wasn't the saddest day of mine, is that what you're saying?

Mallu: I didn't say that, Tate.

Chester: Yes you did. That's exactly what you said.

Mallu: Don't put words into my mouth!

Chester: I couldn't put anything in your mouth. It's too big.

Mallu: Alright I've had it!

<Mallu and Chester start fighting.>

Jessica: Now, boys, please stop.

<Mallu and Chester stop.>

Chester: Sorry, I overreacted.

Mallu: Yeah, me too. Please go on, Jessica.

Jessica: As I was saying, when I died 20 years ago, I promised myself that I'd live my life to the fullest, and never marry again.

Mallu: You don't have to marry me. We can just live together. It'd be a heck of a lot more fun.

Jessica: E. Ronald, please...

Mallu: Sorry.

Jessica: As I was saying, I was going to live life to the fullest, but then when I was kidnapped by the revolutionaries it all got shattered. And when I was in a coma all those years, I told god that if he gave me another chance, I'd live life to the fullest again.

Chester: So, what are you saying, Jess?

Jessica: I don't want to get married again. I don't want to get tied down.

Mallu: That's understandable.

Jessica: But I don't want to hurt the two of you, either. So that means I have to choose one of you.

Mallu: Oh for heaven's sake. He works at a construction company, I'm a lawyer. There's no competition.

Chester: Yes, but I have real hair.

Mallu: OK, I've had enough of you.

<Chester and Mallu begin shouting at each other.>

Jessica: No, no, please stop.

Mallu: Sorry. I lost my head.

Chester: Not yet. Just your hair for now.

<Mallu tries to attack Chester, but Jessica stops him.>

Jessica: Like I said, I have to choose between the two of you. And it won't be easy. But I'm not looking for money or wealth, or looks. I'm looking for real happiness. And the two of you will have to prove yourselves, so that I'll be able to choose.

Chester: I'll do anything, Jess.

Mallu: Me too.

Jessica: Good. We can start tomorrow.

Mallu: How about right now? Just show me the bedroom and I'll prove to you that I'm worthy.

Jessica: E. Ronald...

Mallu: Well, I tried.

Jessica: Now, the two of you know where the door is. I'll see you both soon.

<Jessica gets up and starts to go upstairs.>

Mallu: It's all your fault.

Chester: No, it's not. It's yours.

<Chester and Mallu start hitting each other. Jessica turns around.>

Jessica: Boys...

Chester: Sorry.

<Chester and Mallu leave. Jessica sighs and goes upstairs.>

Jodie: Does someone want to help me carry this suitcase?

<No one moves.>

Jodie: Thanks.

Burt: Sorry, bad back.

Danny: Me too.

Jodie: Danny, you don't have a bad back.

Danny: I know.

Jodie: Then why did you say you do?

Danny: I did?

Jodie: Yes.

Danny: When?

Jodie: Just now.

Danny: No, just now I said "When?"

Jodie: I give up.

Danny: Good idea.

<Jodie brings the suitcase downstairs and places it in front of the door.>

Jodie: Well, I guess this is it.

<There's a moment of silence, then Burt starts crying.>

Burt: Oh Jodie, please don't leave! Please!

Jodie: Burt, relax. I'll only be a 20-minute drive away.

Burt: I know, but it'll take me an hour and a half to get there.

Jodie: Burt, come on. I'll visit you guys.

Burt: You will?

Jodie: Yeah.

Burt: Oh. OK.

<Jodie turns to Wendy.>

Jodie: Are you sure you're ok with this?

Wendy: Sure I am. You need your space. I'll be seeing you often, right?

Jodie: For sure.

Wendy: Then it's no problem.

<Wendy and Jodie hug.>

Jodie: Danny, I'll see you soon.

Danny: Yeah, sure.

Jodie: Just think of it, you'll have your room all to yourself.

Danny: I suppose. But I'll miss you, little brother.

<Jodie and Danny hug.>

Jodie: Hey, good luck on the election.

Burt: Hey, we've got that covered.

Jodie: Scotty, see you soon.

Scotty: Bye, Jodie. Come visit often.

Jodie: I will...Chuck, see you.

Chuck: I'm sorry that you're leaving, Jodie.

Bob: I'm not. Finally we'll have some peace and quiet.

Jodie: Bob, I'm in a good mood today, so I'll ignore you.

Bob: Good. I'll do the same.

<The doorbell rings.>

Jodie: That must be Maggie. She said she'd come by to pick me up.

<Jodie opens the door and lets Maggie in.>

Jodie: Maggie, come on in.

<Maggie comes inside and Jodie closes the door.>

Maggie: Hi everyone.

Burt: Hey Maggie. Listen I just want to thank you for whatever it is you did to make him normal.

Jodie: Burt....

Burt: Sorry...Uh, Danny, we need to get going to election headquarters. Jodie, we'll see you later.

<Burt and Danny grab their jackets and leave.>

Maggie: Are we ready to go?

Jodie: Yeah. Bye everyone.

<Jodie kisses Wendy and shakes hands with Scotty and Chuck.>

Jodie: See you all.

<Jodie and Maggie leave.>

Chuck: Come on Bob, we have a chess game to get to.

Bob: OK but don't play like an idiot this time.

Chuck: Me? You're the one who confuses the knight and the rook.

Bob: Oh yeah? Well you're an idiot.

Chuck: Don't call me an idiot.

<Chuck and Bob continue to argue as they leave the house. Scotty and Wendy remain in the room.>

Wendy: I've gotta go. I have a date with Mike. I'm going upstairs to get ready.

Scotty: OK, see you.

<Wendy goes upstairs. After she leaves, Scotty goes to the phone, picks it up and dials a number. Carol answers the phone on the other end.>

Carol: Hello?

Scotty: It's Scotty. Jodie just left, so the coast is clear.

Carol: Thanks, Scotty. I'll be over soon. Now when I get there, pretend that we've never met.

Scotty: You got it.

Carol: And I'll give you your prize later.

Scotty: Perfect.

Carol: See you later.

<Carol hangs up the phone.>

Carol: Everything is in order. After tonight, Wendy and I will be together and there's nothing that Jodie can do to stop us.

<Scene changes to Maggie's car.>

Jodie: Oh, no.

Maggie: What?

Jodie: I forgot my shaving kit at home. We've gotta go back.

Maggie: OK. Let's do it.

<Maggie slams the breaks and turns the car around. They head back to the Campbell house. Fade to black.>

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